


1,000 Times

by Shinju_Tori



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Anxiety, Body Horror, Discussions of Lobotomies, Gen, John is a Cleric that wants to share the Good Word of Our Lord and Savior The Hunger, Kinda?, Like John has some gloomy thoughts regarding himself and his importance, Merle is a being called The Overgrowth, taz swap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 13:47:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13812453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinju_Tori/pseuds/Shinju_Tori
Summary: How would the Parley meetings go if rather than Merle seeing John, it was John seeking out Merle instead?For najsigt's TAZ Swap contest on Tumblr!





	1,000 Times

**Author's Note:**

> A couple things here before we begin:
> 
> 1) THERE IS GOING TO BE BODY HORROR/LOBOTOMY TALK BECAUSE PLANTS + BODIES IS GROSS
> 
> 2) Their roles may be swapped but John and Merle are still essentially the same people as they are in TAZ so if they seem OOC for their role that's why!
> 
> Kudos and comment if you liked it!

_Cause I would die to make you mine_

_Bleed me dry each and every time_

_I don't mind, no I don't mind it_

_I would come back 1000 times_

 

_You can make me wait forever_

_Push me away and tell me never_

_I don't mind, no I don't mind it_

_I would come back 1000 times_

          - _ **1000 Times by Sara Bareilles**_

~0.0~

The first time John met Merle in Parley, the place they appeared in looked like the inside of a temple of some sort.

There were redwood pews split by an aisle on either side, an altar at the front of the room and massive wood doors at the back. Between the altar and the pews is an area that had a small round wooden table that John was seated in a high backed chair on the one side of that seemed to have sprouted directly from the floor. He looked around, impressed, at the walls which had very tall but thin windows of orange-yellow, teal, dark grey, and light grey stained glass. Behind the altar to his right was a massive wall to wall window of clear glass that gave an amazing view of a sunrise over an ocean that filled the room with pale bluish light.

Suddenly a slight movement out of the corner of his eyes drew John’s attention to the other side of the table. Sitting there, looking as surprised to see John as he was to see them, was a male dwarf in a matching high backed chair. They stared at each other for a long moment, taking in each others’ appearances.

The dwarf was balding and what hair there was, was a soft grey. his neatly brushed beard was pulled into a rough queue and had yellow flowers scattered throughout it. He was wearing a teal button-up with a floral pattern on it over a plain faded grey shirt, mud stained faded black pants with the cuffs turned up, and plain leather sandals. John realized with a jolt that his whole right arm was made of wood and had small leafy twigs and flowers growing on it and that both of his eyes were pitch black with irises of teal flecked with silver and copper.

This was The Overgrowth personified.

The Overgrowth frowned slightly and tried speaking. A raspy noise came from him, making him pull a face that John couldn’t help but smile at. His lips quirked up seeing John smile and he tried again only to get the same results. The dwarf sighed and blinked as a wooden cup and a matching pitcher appeared on the table between them. The dwarf poured himself some water and sipped it, humming. He lowered the glass and cleared his throat before finally speaking.

“Well… This is… This is new. And here I thought nothing could surprise me anymore.” The Overgrowth’s voice was deep and gravelly and sounded faintly amused. He looked around before looking at John, tucking one of his legs up next to him, “Did you bring me here? Where are we? A temple?”

John shrugged and admitted “Your guess is as good as mine. I just initiated a magic spell called Parley and that was all.” He offered his left hand smiling at him “My name is John. John Golosità.”

The Overgrowth took his hand and gently shook it smiling, “Merle. Merle Highchurch.” He tilted his head and said “So you mentioned a spell? How did you manage to single me out using that?”

“Well, I just… I concentrated on your being and we ended up here.” Jon gestured around him. The Overgrowth, Merle, hummed considering that as John added “While we are here, I cannot harm you.”  
  
Merle’s eyes locked with John’s “But we can harm you?”  
  
John tensed and Merle laughed in response. It was hoarse from obvious disuse, and judging from the look of delight on Merle’s face, it was the first time he had laughed in awhile.

“Oh don’t worry! I’m not going to kill you!” He cheerfully said. He paused and amended “Well… I mean… There was a reason you called me here to this… Parlor Temple, right?”

John chuckled slightly and nodded. He gently said “Parley Temple and… Well… Tit for tat I suppose. I’ll answer any question you ask me in exchange for every question I ask you. Both of us cannot lie to each other. Questions we aren’t sure of how to answer will be stated as such and are considered free questions.”

Merle hummed thoughtfully “Why though? What do you stand to gain from this exchange between us?”

John fidgeted with his rolled up shirt sleeves. He was regretting forgoing his usual suit jacket and tie for this ritual. He slowly admitted to Merle “You keep killing me and my friends. I want to know why you keep doing so.”

Merle was silent for a few moments before softly saying “We… I keep… Killing you and your friends? And yet you’re still here?” He hopped down from his chair and John was suddenly struck by how small Merle was, even for a dwarf. His chin barely cleared the edge of the table as he lifted his plant arm and pointed a finger at John.

A breathless gasp shot out of John as his finger extended into a sharp vine that stabbed him through the chest. He looked down to see The Overgrowth spreading through him from Merle’s finger before he looked back up at Merle. The last thing that John saw and heard was Merle smiling sadly and said “Well… If you’re telling me the truth… I’ll see you later then…”

~0.0~

The next cycle, after initiating Parley again, John opened his eyes to the same oceanside temple with it’s perpetual sunrise. Seated across from him with a wide smile was Merle.

“Wow! You weren’t kiddin’ around!” Merle exclaimed. He leaned on the table chuckling “You really did come back to life!”

John nodded and smiled in what he hoped was a soothing manner “That’s right. So you know now that I don’t mean you any harm.”

Merle waggled a finger at him “Not necessarily. Meaning someone harm and not being able to cause them harm are different things.”

John reluctantly nodded in agreement. Merle had a point. Even if it was… humanizing to see him like this, this dwarf was still The Overgrowth. They were enemies. He couldn’t get attached to him.

“Can I ask a question then?” John changed the subject. At Merle’s nod, he continued, “What are you after?”

Merle hummed looking out the window thoughtfully. After a few moments he said “That’s… Geez buddy you went right for it huh?” He sighed, rubbing the back of his head, “I suppose… Ultimately? I want… peace.” He looked at John with a gentle smile “There’s more to it than that but I guess what we want is peace.”

Merle gestured at John “You’ve probably seen me in action out there right?” At John’s tense nod, he leaned in and said quietly, his tone that of a concerned parent, “I’m not doing this out of malice, Johnny boy. Pan knows I’m not! I want… We just want people to be safe and happy. I want to bring them peace of mind.” He leaned back and saying quieter “I just want peace…”

Merle sighed again after a few seconds and said “My turn for a question now?”

John nodded and smiled politely “Of course it is.”

Merle gestured at him “I killed you. How did you come back?”

John ran his fingers through his own hair and admitted “I don’t know the exact reason myself.” Seeing Merle’s eyes narrow slightly, he quickly said “All I know is that from my perspective, I die, there’s a big flash of light and then I appear on the deck of our ship at the end of a year.”

Merle perked up “You have a ship that you can travel between worlds with?”

John nodded “The Sunstreaker we call it.”

Merle laughed and said “Sunstreaker? That’s a pretty awesome name! Sounds like something that...” He trailed off suddenly frowning.

John looked scared as Merle raised his wood hand and said in a suddenly cold voice, “I think it’s time for you to go.”

John’s last image from that cycle is of Merle hiding his face in his left hand, his shoulders shaking slightly while vines wrapped around his shoulders, almost like arms comforting him.

~0.0~

The next time John saw Merle, the dwarf poured them both a cup of water.

Merle handed him his cup with an apologetic smile “Sorry about that… I just… Got called away at that moment so…”

John nodded accepting the cup “It’s okay. You can ask first this time if you want. I mean it only seems fair since I am the one that keeps inviting you here.”

Merle smiled and said “Thank you John.” He leaned back humming what sounded like a hymn of some sort. He leaned forwards and said “Before you did this ship business, what did you do for a living?”

John said “Privately or publicly?” At Merle’s snort he explained “To the public I was a public speaker, a motivational one specifically. In private though, I was and still am, a Cleric to The Hunger.” Seeing Merle’s questioning look John said “The Hunger is a deity from my universe that is like Chaos embodied. He is the way the planes are constantly changing, individuals to their own rights but also one in their eternal dance. He is all but he is also one.”

Merle hummed “Well that’s certainly interesting to us all.”

John pointed at Merle and asked “Why do you keep doing that? You speak of yourself in both singular and plural fashion.”

Merle pursed his lips and hummed “That’s… Hmm… That’s hard to explain…” He exhaled slowly before saying “I am Merle and I still am. I was a Cleric to the God Pan and worked to bring people into the fold all my life.” He looked proud adding “And I was damned good at it too if memory serves. I never liked the idea of telling other people that they weren’t going to heaven or anything like that because they didn’t believe in my God.” He smiled “So I only actively preached the good news of Pan to people and let them come to me on their own.”

Merle sighed “As for the we and us and our though…” He rubbed his arm again “I mean everyone within… Everyone... ” He sighed again “It’s hard to explain because this is the first time in… Gosh, in forever that I’ve spoken about this sort of thing to anyone.” He paused thinking before asking “What do you call me John?”

John blinked “What?”

Merle repeated “What do you call me? You obviously didn’t call me Merle before you met me so what did you call me?”

John chewed on his lip before saying “Well…”

Merle waved a hand carelessly “You know what screw it. You obviously don’t call me that anymore. Tell me about your ship, this Sunstreaker, instead.”

John could see that it pained him to say the name of their ship and so distracted him with rough sketches and descriptions of the ship. This time when Merle killed him it was quick and painless, and his last sight was Merle’s gentle smile.

~0.0~

Merle had a slightly disappointed look on his face as John opened his eyes the next time “John. Can I ask a question first this time?”

John swallowed and nodded.

“You and your friends are the one that keep stealing The Light of Creation from me aren’t you?” Merle asked quietly. When John nodded and murmured an agreement, Merle groaned and leaned back in his seat. “Great just.. Great…” He sighed and looked at John “I like you John, I really do but I feel like you won’t stop taking The Light just because I asked huh?”

John shook his head and apologetically said “Sorry but we can’t Merle.”

Merle sighed again and nodded at him tiredly “Your turn.”

John sighed before asking “Why do you want The Light?”

Merle’s nose wrinkled and he hummed before saying “What do you call me besides Merle?”

John hesitated as Merle slowly said “John… I need to know otherwise I can’t explain why we, why I need it.”

John shook his head “Just… Just answer the question Merle? For me?”

Merle’s shoulders slumped and he sighed. He looked out the window briefly before saying “You had scientific laws in your world right?” He glanced at John who nodded confused at where this was going. “Well you know that technically more than one object cannot be in the same spot at the same time right? You can stack cups and bowls together but you can’t put them all the the spot where the first bowl and cup were.” He gestured to himself “That’s where I come in. It may be hard to believe but that is what I am. Multiple planes all bound together into the same spot. All thanks to the Light of Creation.”

John’s blood ran cold as Merle smiled, almost obliviously, at him “I’m not normally one to brag about my looks but you’ve seen what I look like, right John? I must look so beautiful to you with all those bonds streaming off of me...”

( ~~_A mass of what looked like writhing sickly teal vines all tangled together with enormous plane-of-existence sized flowers of black, silver, and copper pulled the Plane of Animals into its mass and shivered as it grew a bit larger and more flowers bloomed on its surface_ ~~ )

Merle’s smiled faded slightly and he sadly said “I’m really sorry John. Really I am, but I need the light to become whole.” He lifted his hand and killed John saying “So please stop keeping it from me.”

~0.0~

The cycles that they spent together after that one blurred together. At some point John suggested they play chess while they talked which Merle eagerly agreed to. They spoke of everything from John’s friends to scenery in Merle’s home plane to Fantasy crime shows that were oddly identical between their worlds.

There is a level of tenseness between them because sometimes John will say or do something that makes Merle act weird and then kill him. At the same time, however, there was some level of enjoyment that Merle obviously got from talking to him.

( ~~ _He must've been so alone, just like you John. How long has he been alone? Does he deserve it the way you do?_~~ )

After a couple dozen deaths, John sighed looking down at their latest game. Stalemate yet again, making the current scores; 10 wins for John,10 wins for Merle, and 4 draws. He looked up at Merle who was looking at the board thoughtfully. He looked up when John cleared his throat to catch his attention.

“I’m sorry if this is...blunt of me…” John slowly said “But it’s been a long time since we started doing this.” Merle raised an eyebrow but didn’t interrupt as John said “Merle, why are you doing this?”

John gestured around them “How can you, how can The Overgrowth-”

Merle quietly interjected, his body tense as he picked up a castle from the chessboard, “Pan.”

John quickly amended “I mean Pan…” He sighed running his fingers through his hair “How can you… Justify this? How can you justify killing all those people?”

Merle looked out the window for a long time thinking. John was just starting to wonder if Merle was going to kill him again when suddenly Merle said, still looking out the window, “John… Have you… Did you ever have children John?”

John blinked at the sudden question and blushed slightly  “N-No… Actually I’ve never been that good with kids to be honest…”

Merle sighed heavily before smiling very sadly at John “Let me tell you about my kiddos, Mavis and Mookie. Best pair of kids a dad could ask for.”

He looked at the castle in his hands and said “Mavis was a bright little thing. She was always reading and questionin’ things. She wasn’t my kid by blood, just by marriage, but I still loved her just the same.”

He chuckled softly putting the castle down “Then there was tiny rambunctious Mookie. A real firecracker that boy was I’ll tell you. Constantly wrestlin’ with other kids, but he knew when to hold back and let the other kid win.”

Merle looked wistfully out the window again “Both were so beautiful and so very bright. Kind to everyone by default.” He chuckled again “And both knew how to keep me on my toes. Never a slow moment with either of them I’ll tell you.” He smiled at John widely “I was the luckiest dad in the world no doubt!”

John asked hesitantly “Wh-Where...Where are they now?”

Merle stopped smiling and stared down at his hands, curling 5 flesh fingers and 4 wooden ones into loose fists. He closed his eyes and took a deep steadying breath before looking up at John, a pained look on his face “No one should have to lose a child John…” He weakly smiled “But Pan… Pan helped me get through the loss.”

He stood up, went over to the window, and boosted himself up to sit on the edge of the altar, looking out over the perpetual sunrise. John’s eyes widened as the sky grew dark with the familiar writhing teal vines with their flowers of black, silver, and copper. He looked at Merle who said, gesturing to the changing view outside, “I was alone John. I don’t want anyone else to experience what I did. With help from Pan, I made sure that I can stop all sorrow.”

He turned and looked earnestly at John, who could see where Merle was coming from.

( ~~You’re all alone. You’re not really needed. They don’t need you. No one needs you. Not your parents. Not your friends. Not even your God need you John.~~ )

“Imagine it! No more pain, no more loss! We are all one with Pan! No one has to be alone ever again!” He looked a little sheepish “I don’t really like the term ‘killing’ because that implies they aren’t here or that I’m hurting them in some way. And your title of Overgrowth is wrong too because I don’t swallow things up and chew them up to become food for myself either.” He smiled gently at John “I’d rather call the process Unifying. And someday, people will call us The United.” He stopped smiling as John abruptly stood up, slamming his hands on the table, teal and jet chess pieces falling over.

“NO! This is all wrong!” John shouted at a very calm looking Merle “Yes the world is sad and horrible and cruel!” He lifted a hand towards Merle, silently begging for him to see reason as he continued “But that’s what makes living fucking worthwhile! The stories, the lives, the BONDS!” John swallowed, his eyes burning faintly as he pleaded “Don’t you see Merle? You are tearing apart the ONE thing that makes this existence, this life have any goddamned meaning at all!”

He breathed heavily after his outburst as Merle slowly approached him. He smiled up at John and rested his hand on John’s hand that was still on the table, The Overgrowth swiftly spread up his arm to the rest of his body as Merle murmured, “Heh… See you later John…”

~ **WARNING! BODY HORROR AND SUGGESTIONS OF LOBOTOMIZATION AHEAD!** ~

John looked around in confusion as he opened his eyes.

He had somehow gone from being in the elevator with Sloane, and instead ended up in what looked like a teal boardroom with a long table made of what looked like teal marble. On the table was a chess set that had familiar turquoise and black opal pieces. The chair he was standing next to was a nice cushy office chair was also in that same teal color.

With a start he realized that the vague pattern on the walls, ceiling, and the floor were in fact the edges of endless tangled vines covered in dozens of black, silver, and copper flower buds.

There was movement in front of him that made him look back at the table from his examination of the walls and gasped.

Merle was seated across from him as before but he was much different than he remembered. He was still in the same outfit as before, his beard pulled into a neat queue with even more flowers than before dotting them. His wooden arm however had spread roots under his skin, visibly bulging across his chest and stomach as well as up around his neck. One of the roots that trailed around his ears on his face tugged the right corner of his mouth up into a permanent smile while another was dipping into the corner of his right eye which was now completely black and oozing teal fluid where the root touched it. A cold moist air seemed to waft off of him.

The other corner of his mouth lifted up in a smile as Merle said quietly “Hello John… You got a minute?”

John smiled tensely as he sat down across from Merle “For you Merle? Always.”

Merle huffs softly and nods at him, his tone teasing as he said, “You look like shit. What happened to your eye and skin?”

John tightly smiled and teased back, “Pot meet kettle. I just had a few adventures is all.”

Merle laughs at that and winces almost immediately afterwards, the roots in his skin visibly flexing in him now. He sighed “We’ve both been through some rough times huh?”

John, trying to brighten Merle’s attitude slightly, shrugged and said “I dunno… I kinda like how I look. It’s like that Fantasy Japanese art of kinsugi, where pottery is repaired with liquid gold.” He grinned ”You just look like mulch.”

Merle hummed nodding sagely. He weakly smiled “Sorry if I’m crap at speaking. Since we last spoke I haven’t…” He trailed off looking distantly at the table between them. He shook his head before smiling at John “It’s good to see you again.”  

John smiled nodding “You too Merle.”

There was silence between them before Merle finally said “You uh… You hid from me for a while there. You and your friends along with the light…”

John nodded “Yeah we did… If it consoles you any, it wasn’t my choice to hide the way we did.”

Merle hummed and nodded. He sighed and tiredly said “I’m gonna be honest with you John… I’m not in charge anymore. Pan and the others… They don’t want unity as much as they want uniformity. And since you poofed on us, on me for at least a decade, I’m not exactly in their good books. Ya dig me?” He sadly smiled at John saying “This is as much a goodbye as a desire to just… talk to you again…”

John smiled gently at him and quietly said “I understand.”

Merle smiled back “I knew you would. I know that since I invited you to Parley, which according to the people on that plane that you learned Parley from apparently it changes to make the one who is being called upon comfortable by the way, that’s why we were in that Parley Temple rather than this… Parley Parlor? Anyway, since I invited you here, you could kill me right now now and everything would end right here but...”

The buds bloomed on the walls and opened up to reveal drooling mouths that screeched at them both and dripped acidic looking red sap from thorn-like teeth.

John watched Merle tremble and fall silent until they finished screeching.

He tensely smiled and finished “They wouldn’t like that at all.” Merle gestured at the chess set between them and changed the subject, “So what do you say? Want to play one more game before I go? For old-times sake?”

John gently said “Of course… I assume you want white as always?”

Merle nodded as the pieces shifted into their starting positions. He moved a piece and said “So tell me what you got up to in the past decade…”

John moved a piece in return shrugging “I haven’t had any kids of my own but me and two of my friends practically adopted this little human girl, June her name is.”

Merle snorted moving another piece “How old is she?”

John hummed, taking one of Merle’s pieces, “Somewhere between 10 and 13. Hard to tell sometimes. She acts very mature for her age.”

Merle smiled “She’s a lot like M-Mavis then…”

John glanced up when he stuttered, and saw Merle’s flesh hand clutching the side of the table, his knuckles white with tension. There was more teal fluid than before gushing from his eye, down the right side of his face and as John watched more of the root slipped into Merle’s eye socket.

John started and exclaimed “Is The Overgrowth lobotomizing you?!”

Merle winced as the flower mouths on the walls howled in protest. Once they fell quiet again, he said with a strained smile “N-Nah… It’s fine…” He moved a piece, his king, to snag one of John’s pawns. John watched fascinated as threads of light looped off of the teal king and tugged his pawn against and then into itself. He looked up to see Merle staring intently at him.

John looked back down and noticed that even though the pawn was gone, the threads of light were still looped around the king. He kept an eye on the king as it absorbed more and more pieces, watching more and more loops of light get added while regaling snippets from his adventures with Sloane and Edward to Merle; of the unfortunate burning of Hogsbottom, of the flesh golems they encountered on the Rockport Limited on their way to Refuge, of the crystalized lab of Kravitz and his mother Raven, of the poor oppressed people of Raven’s Roost that now had a pair of lovers carved into their cliffside, of the timesick city of Neverwinter, and of the Lich twins of Wonderland.

“Wow… Sounds like you may have more than just a single kid.” Merle laughed softly “Sounds like you have hundreds if not thousands now.”

John considered that and nodded “You do have a point I suppose.” He smiled at him “Now tell me more about you and The Overgrowth.” The flower mouths hissed as they were mentioned but otherwise stayed quiet as John continued “I mean I assume that you met Pan after you lost your children but how did you convince the rest of your whole plane that Pan could help them as well?”

Merle hummed looking down at the pieces before them “Well I was a Cleric John. People naturally came to me for comfort when they lost people.” He looked at John dead in the eyes and said deliberately “And as a Cleric, I would tell them what they needed to hear at that moment.”

John’s eyes darted down as his knight moved on it’s own and advanced on Merle’s king. It suddenly animated, the knight on the horse’s back swinging it’s sword at the king, slicing through the loops of light around it. As the loops were broken, all the pieces the king ad collected scattered across the board as if thrown from the king.

John covered his ears as all the flowers in the room screamed as one. Merle looked scared as hands made of thorny vines came up from the ground, wrestling him from his chair, and started pulling him down into the floor. John knocked over his chair in his haste to grab onto Merle and tried pulling him up and away from the mass holding him. There were too many hands and they pulled all but his head and flesh arm into the floor.

Merle clutched at John’s jacket and frantically cried out, tears streaming down his left cheek, “Break the bonds Jon! Please! Break the-!” The vines looped around his head and pulled it under. Seconds later his hand went limp, releasing John’s jacket and that too vanished into the floor.

John swallowed as he looked around at the gnashing flower mouths around him and the vine hands that came up to grab at his legs and start dragging him down as well.

“....Well shit…”

~0.0~

The next time John sees Merle, not the hulking mass of wood, and plants that The Overgrowth had transformed him into, there was a flash of white light and John is on a beach.

It’s sunrise, the sky just starting to brighten. It’s just bright enough for John to see a small figure, dark against the horizon. He slowly approached them and paused as they turned to look at him.

It was Merle but as John had never seen him before. His hair was more black than grey now, both arms were flesh, he had no shirt on at all and swimming trunks instead of pants. His sandals were abandoned nearby while his feet were buried in the sand at the top of the outgoing tide.

Merle smiled up at him and softly said “Hey John…”

John smiled gently back “Hey Merle.”

The dwarf patted the ground next to him and said “Sit with me for a bit?”

John nodded sitting “Of course.”

Merle relaxed as John settled in next to him. John glanced down as he leaned against him and said “We don’t have to do anything. Let’s just… Let’s just watch the sun rise okay?”

John nodded and wordlessly they watched the sun peek over the horizon and the tide pull away from them. Higher and higher the sun rose until finally a warm sun was shining down from above.

And Merle? Merle was gone.

And John? John hoped that wherever Merle is now, his children are there to greet their father...

**Author's Note:**

> Rather than Black Opal like The Hunger, The Overgrowth is colored like Turquoise. This is because Turquoise is the stone of honesty and friendship while Black Opals are gems of Seeing things and of death/rebirth.
> 
> John’s last name is Golosità which in Italian means Gluttony which I thought would be a fitting last name for John
> 
> When John talks about the places he went during his adventures in Faerun, the rough idea was to have some of the places flipped around according to who is connected to that place. Hence Raven's Roost instead of Goldcliff, Refuge and Neverwinter being switched, etc.


End file.
